Online Dating is a 2.2 BILLION dollar industry!
Dating
Certainly not what it was back in High School. Now, like all things humans touch, it’s new, improved, shiny, and “better”!
You know… Match, E-Harmony, PoF, Tinder, OKCupid. Yes, online dating! Here it is! Finally, the axiom of human engineering in the 21st century! Let’s optimize and improve on time honored tradition by throwing as many people as we possibly can at someone!
YES! This is what I’ve been waiting for! 5-6 different dates a week, a different beautiful woman every night, food for the ego!
Not…
When I wrote my last Life After Loss article I’d already spent almost a solid year “single”, and a cool 7 months since I’d had any contact with my ex. Sure, in the last 11 months I’d thought I was ready and done my fair share of “dating”, but I realized very early that all I was trying to do was find someone who embodied all the positive attributes I enjoyed in my prior relationship, without the bat-shit crazy emotional drama I had to deal with. At it’s best, it was a noble effort. Though, in reality I was far, FAR, from ready. So I spent quite some time over the fall and winter just really trying to work on myself.
After emerging from my self-induced hiatus I set out to “play the game”. Let me tell you.. there are some choice take aways that anyone who reads this should consider if they find themselves wanting to go down that road.
“Like what?”
Well, here’s a small list:
-Your average person is talking to 5-10 different people at a time.
-Most people say they want a relationship, but tend to want to play the field.
-Human nature says that if you keep dangling a carrot (or 5-10) in front of someone’s face, you won’t give any one person any sort of honest chance.
-Men tend to lie about their height.
-Women tend to lie about body types.
-Everyone tends to lie about relationship statuses.
-Non-smoker seems to also mean “smoke sometime” (then you call them out and you’re the ass…)
-Most women are still bat-shit crazy. (though, I’ve remained friends with a few who weren’t relationship material, but have since proven they’re not bat-shit crazy.. so there is hope)
-Guys tend to like to post pictures of their fancy sports cars and topless gym selfies. Women like the fishy face.. I still don’t get and understand that one.. *groan*
There’s a term I became familiar with very early on. “Catfished”, a term used to describe an individual who met someone under false pretense or blatant dishonesty being forced on them.
Here’s a good one I’ve told in the past. I walk into a bar; seriously this sounds like a bad joke. A Mexican walks into a bar, and I’m looking for my date. I scan the room and suddenly I’m like. “No…”, scratching my head. I grab my phone, pull up her picture, look up; again, “NO!”.
Then she sees me.. and starts jumping up and down waving her arms.
“FML, it IS her!”
So, what’s wrong here? OK, when you use adjectives like “Slender”, “Athletic”, “Petite”, etc., you are painting a fair and objective picture about yourself; truly not subject to interpretation.
This lady was at least 10 years older then the pictures showed, and was easily 50-70 lbs over weight. Not that the weight bothers me at all. I was close to 400 lbs myself, so I have an appreciation for a thick girl, just don’t lie to me about it.
Here’s another quick one, which I elude to above.
I’m talking to someone and their profile clearly states “Non Smoker” and “Divorced”.
After several days of talking, I find out “Divorced” means separated and just starting conversations on seeing a lawyer, and “Non Smoker” to her really meant “I only smoke sometimes, but it’s no big deal.”
So, I call her out and tell her I’m sorry, I don’t think that’s fair when a friendship and relationship is supposed to be built on trust and respect, how is this supposed to look to me now?
At which I was told where to go, and “How DARE I talk to her that way..”
I have at least another dozen stories like that; sadly.
My take, is that it’s this damn digital generation we’re in. I love the “Social Media” challenge. Everyone puts their phone on the bar. First to reach for it, has to buy a round. We’re so tethered to our devices. Someone WONDERFUL could be staring right at us, and we’d never know it, cause we’re looking for them on a dating site.
What happened to the old fashioned days where someone just goes out by themselves for a night, walks into a bar and just introduce themselves to someone who catches their eye? That old fashioned way, when you stare into each others eyes and you both just “feel” that tingle; both having to pull away, smiling inside.
Then, before you know it, you’re still at that bar, and six hours later you have exchanged numbers and realize that what you just experienced truly is the way it’s supposed to be done. The way that endures, when you can actually focus on ONE person, and truly give them a shot; and them, you.
I would like that..
-Jorge